Rev. Carol Bodeau
Lately, you have probably heard me saying something along the lines of “we need to focus on love to deal with the culture crisis.” I’ve gotten a lot of feedback about this general approach to things—some people really appreciate it, while others have significant reservations. One response many people have is that, while they agree that being curious about those who disagree with us is a good thing, and that bringing love into spaces of conflict can be helpful, they seriously doubt the viability of that approach to the level of conflict we are now experiencing.
In other words, the people in power we may be most worried about don’t seem likely to respond well, if at all, to ‘loving’ outreach.
And I agree. So I wanted to clarify what I’ve been saying. I don’t actually think political leaders, or billionaires care one bit about my loving intentions. I am well aware that many people in power right now are motivated by something that is probably not in the category of ‘loving’ (although it is also clear to me that many people would disagree with me about that). So how in the world can being more ‘loving’ be helpful?
What I mean to say is this: while there are some pretty troubling actors at the highest levels of authority right now, they are not the ones I really care about communicating with. I’m talking about a more grass-roots approach.
The way I see it is this: I can’t control the people at the top anyway. But I can interact in ways that build connections, and understanding, and trust with others who might be more likely than I to dismiss what’s happening. And I can be curious about the very real needs and worries of people who think the current strategies are good ones. So being ‘loving’ with others is meant to disrupt my own fight or flight responses enough to prevent me triggering someone else’s. Hopefully, then we can talk with respect, and trust, and curiosity, despite differences. And then maybe we can find common ground to address very real issues in much larger, more diverse collaborations.
I also mean to say this: being ‘loving’ in no way excludes taking very real action to resist oppression and create safe spaces for those who are threatened. Someone suggested this quote by Mother Teresa on the subject:
“I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”
That’s basically what I meant to say, she just said it better.
In hopes for a future filled with love, justice and peace for all beings.
Rev. Carol